Wednesday HodgePodge

I really enjoy link-ups but rarely participate in them because I can't do anything in a timely manner. I have lots of photos to share with y'all but until I get time to put them all together, I'm going to do a couple Q&A hops. Won't it be nice to learn something about me other than stuff about losing weight?

1. In what way are you your own worst enemy? 
   I tend to talk myself out of things that I know I deserve. Also, I regularly plot against myself. I even found a war room in my basement with papers and photos mapping out my demise. I had no idea I hated myself so much!
   
   But mark my words: Self, you will never get the microfiche.
2. Jacques Cousteau's birthday was Monday, June 11th...ever been scuba diving?
   No but I've been snorkeling.
   Is that something you'd like to try?
   I don't think I'd enjoy scuba diving. There are dolphins out there. Dolphins scare the beejesus out of me.
   What's your favorite 'under the sea' creature? 
   Not this guy:
   
3. On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable are you in and around the water? (1=not at all, 10=very)
   Depends on what kind of water we are talking about. The pool in my backyard, 10.
   Wading in the surf, 10...unless there is a school of dolphins nearby.
   In the ocean or other deep body of water, 7-8. Again, dolphins and then there are microorganisms (see above).
   At a water park, 0. Between the urine and the ill-fitting bathing suits, I am not comfortable at all.
   Do you know how to swim and if so how and when did you learn? 
   I do. My mom says I was swimming independently around age two. I don't know if that's accurate but I recall swimming at a very young age. I'm not sure how I learned but knowing my dad he probably just threw me in one day. It was the 80's. Parents taught their kids stuff by attempting to kill them.
4. What's something you do to motivate yourself to tick an item off your to-do list? 
   I think about how people won't have the opportunity to bitch at me for not getting something done. That's a huge motivator but even still I'm slow to do anything. Turtles got nuthin on me.
   
5. What makes a good neighbor? 
   A good neighbor tells their effing dog to shut it and come inside. A good neighbor doesn't let their dumb ass dog bark for hours on end while he sits in his house and gets stoned. A good neighbor doesn't let a for-real-hooker move into his house. A good neighbor doesn't practice his epic drum solo until 4am.
   
   Are you a good neighbor? 
   Yes. I abide by all of the previously mentioned good-neighbor laws and I give my neighbors the added bonus of never talking to them. Also I put great effort into being a quiet drunk, especially when skinny dipping at any hour of the day.
   
6. Who loads the dishwasher at your house?
   Most times its me.
   
   Is there a right way and a wrong way? 
   Yes, which is why it's usually me that does it.
   
   I couldn't decide between the obscene photo or the cute photo, so you got both.
7. You know it's summer when ... 
   I start shaving my legs again and stocking up on Drano.
   
8. Insert your own random thought here. 
   I don't understand everyone's obsession with Nutella. Stop it. It's not THAT good.