Take it off | Week 64: Playing with Fire

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The week started out pretty mundane. I spent the days plugging away at staying on plan and exercising like a good little weight loss soldier. I went into a shell of sorts to try and reconcile this 4 week plan with myself. Where will I be in four weeks? How can I be okay with where ever I end up in 4 weeks? I weighed the pros and cons of the choices I had in front of me when I reach that 4 week mark. And even though I am no closer to a decision than I was last week, I am closer to being in a 'Whatever will be, will be' kind of place.

The scale didn't really move at all early in the week. I was okay with that. I knew I was doing all the right things to make it move, it just wasn't happening. But I had several very gratifying moments last week. More and more people seek me out for advice. It's not just Medifast advice (though Medifast is obviously my preferred plan), but diet, nutrition and exercise advice on the whole. I tred very lightly when people ask me for specific advice. I am by no means an expert at any of this. I can only tell you what works for me and what I've learned while on Medifast. So I'm very hesitant to give actual nutritional advice. Mostly though, I try to be a source of support and a cheerleader for those around me that are tackling weight loss. Having someone on your side is almost as important as eating right and exercising. I know I've said it a million times, but I don't think I could have made it as far as I have without all of you cheering me on. 

Rather than getting bummed out by the lack of movement, I focused on these gratifying moments that happened this week. The moments when three different people came to me and said the advice I had given them helped them get the scale moving again. Those are quite possibly the most fulfilling messages that I get. Because these people not only had the courage to start a weight loss regimen, but they had the strength to fight through a stall and even try something outside of their comfort zone (like increasing calorie intake) and they also trust me to help them.

So that's part of the reason I feel weird about what I'm going to tell you. Because I don't want to hurt that trust that people have in me and the choices I make. In short, I went AWOL. And not my usual little nibble of something. I went running-through-the-streets-naked-while-smearing-ice-cream-on-myself-AWOL. 

And I did it on purpose.

All last week as I went around and around over whether I should call it a day, several people encouraged me to just take a break for a few days. In theory, when I get back on plan it will jump start my weight loss again. I've never really subscribed to this theory. I always felt like going on a binge (for lack of a better word) was a gateway to something really bad. I was worried that for me, a slip up like that would spiral out of control. 

After a lot of thought, I decided to play with fire. I attended the blogging conference Bloggy Boot Camp over the weekend. I knew there would be goodies. Lots and lots of goodies. I exaggerated a little when I talk about going AWOL. I didn't go to extreme lengths to undo my progress or cause myself to spiral out of control. Basically though, I turned my dieting brain off. I made a deal with myself that I could dabble within reason but I had to make reasonable choices in exchange. I wasn't going to go insane and eat burgers and fries and run out for some late night ice cream. And I was not allowed to regret my choices - good or bad. I had to own my choices and just move on to the next moment. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to deny yourself the feeling of regret?)

But I had champagne: 
Um, hello? Complimentary champagne courtesy of Omni Philly? Yes, please! (I had one glass.)
I had wine. I had cupcakes. 
I'm no dainty cupcake eater.
I had crackers with cheese and bread...oh man, the best bread ever, King's Hawaiian bread.

But I also did some really good things. 

I stalked that veggie tray at the GLO Party like a rabbit that hasn't seen a carrot in months. I limited my drinks (despite multiple offers of more drink tickets). I drank A LOT of water. And even though I stayed up until well after midnight on Friday, I got up with friend and fellow blogger, Jo-Lynne, for a 3 mile run through the city at 615am. 
Rock Stars!
My roomie and Stephanie #2 (I have 3 Stephanies! Aren't I lucky?) slept in.
hehe. Okay, in all fairness, I'm crazy for running. I should have been sleeping too.
Sleep is good for your health and helps weight loss too!
Steph and I hit up Cosi on our way to the conference.

We don't really have Cosi in Delaware - I think there are two? But I wish there were more! I LOVE that they list calorie counts for every single item in the store.

I was able to have a tasty coffee treat without going nuts. I think my order came out to under 50 calories. Sweet!

Then I had a Medifast bar for breakfast - which someone caught on camera.

That's me in the background nibbling on a Medifast S'mores bar.
At lunch, we were served King's Hawaiian BBQ sliders and Chicken sliders. I went halvsies on each sandwich with the woman in the red blouse in the photo above (who are you? haha I want to link to you!). I sampled each sandwich with the bread and then scraped out the insides and ate them bread-free. (I REALLY wanted that bread! Its so good!)

After the conference was over there was a wine tasting party with Mirassou wines. Have I told y'all about my obsession with Moscato? Yeah...well...ahem. I had two reasonably-sized samples. 
But again, I stuck with veggies thanks to the healthy option of the portobello kabobs that were laid out for us. The light fare left me pretty hungry by the time I got home that night so I started to reel it in with a small salad. On Sunday morning it was tempting to partake in the bagels and cream cheese that my husband and daughter were eating but I decided it was time to start reeling it back in. I'd had my fun and hoped it would serve the intended purpose. I had also hoped it had not done much damage. I had a Medifast shake and a single bite of my daughter's bagel. Later in the day we shared a small ice cream and by the evening I was back on track. 

So what's the damage? Well, it's the best and worst thing that could happen. I maintained.

You must be thinking I am crazy for calling that the worst thing ever. Here's the thing: Old me would have taken that as a sign to keep eating that way. 'Look at all the crap I ate and it didn't do any damage!' Thankfully I know better now. I just count myself as lucky and pray it doesn't show up later this week. 

As of Tuesday morning, I'm down a half pound. Monday was a rough day with getting back on track but I pushed through it. I can see how I could easily backslide if I don't eat with purpose and awareness of the benefits and/or consequences. I'm glad I took a little vacation and feel rejuvenated and excited to be back on track. I may not make it to my goal in the four week timeline - I'll do my best to get there - but whatever will be will be. As so many people have told me over and over, ninety pounds is an amazing accomplishment. There will be no regrets. 

Month One: -16 lbs
Month Two: -5 lbs
Month Three: -6 lbs
Month Four: -6 lbs
Month Five: -6 lbs
Month Six: -8.5 lbs
Month Seven: -7.5 lbs
Month Eight: -5 lbs
Month Nine: -2 lbs
Month Ten: -5 lbs
Month Eleven: -6 lbs
Month Twelve: -4 lbs
Month Thirteen: -6.5 lbs
Month Fourteen: -3.5 lbs
Month Fifteen: -1 lbs
Week sixty two: 1 WHAT?! WHAT?! (its actually 1lb and some change. But we are just gonna call it 1)
Week sixty three: 1
Week sixty four: -.5 (where's my lotto ticket? I need to check my numbers!) 
Total: 90.5 lbs gone forever! Current weight: 149.5 lbs Distance from goal: 9.5 lbs!!

Date
Bust
Waist
Hips
Thighs
Arms
4/23-4/30
36"
35.5"
39.5"
22"
12"
5/1-5/7
35.5"
33"
38"
22"
12"

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*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

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