Showing posts with label #medifast. Show all posts

Take it off | The New Year

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Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Timing is truly everything. I’m sure it’s no shock, considering my lack of posting about my diet, there hasn't been much of a diet. It’s not that I haven’t been trying. I have been half-heartedly doing the 4&2. But ya know, it really doesn't count for much if you chase a Medifast Brownie with a White Chocolate Pumpkin Latte from Dunkin Donuts. It also pains me to confess that my last run was 5 weeks ago. FIVE WEEKS! 

What the hell have I been doing?  Like everyone else, I got slammed by the holidays. 
We were going here, there, and everywhere. It’s also my busy season at work. Then there are the side projects and oh it got really effing cold out. I am SO over this running in the cold thing. 

In the past few months, probably since October, I've had a really tough time sticking to any kind of regimen. Day by day, all the good habits I had created seemed to peel away. I was snacking too much and with all the wrong things. I used to drink nearly two gallons of water a day and now I’m lucky to get a liter in myself. I was neglecting my exercise. I can’t even tell you the last time I logged my meals. 

And the wine...there was so much wine. There was enough wine that I actually became concerned a few times that this would become my new problem. (boy, that is hard to say out loud.) Don’t be concerned though! I had to take a step back and look at my drinking history. You have to understand that years ago, I never drank. My brother is an alcoholic and alcohol scares me. Then when I did drink, I drank too much (when I was single), then I didn't drink at all again for a long time. I picked it up again and when I did, it was only on the weekends and usually just one or two night. 

When I started Medifast, obviously I cut out drinking almost entirely. So when I got closer to goal, I began treating myself to drinks again. What is probably a normal and moderate level to most - a glass of wine at night with dinner throughout the week - is excessive to my personal norm. And that’s what I was doing; accompanied by the occasional getting a little tipsy on the weekends after the kid was long in bed. (Parent of the Year!) But it came to a point that it was outside my comfort zone. A little wine every night is fine - but its not fine for me. 

In the past few months, I made many attempts to be more strict but I just wasn't feeling it. I really wanted it but something was stopping me. I’d start the day off great and as the day would progress, there was almost a physical pull to not stick to a healthy plan. For weeks I was mad at myself. I couldn't figure out WHY I was being like this. Why had I worked so incredibly hard to get here only to let it fizzle out? Was I really going to be that person that lost a huge amount of weight only to gain it back? Was I really going to let all the lame excuses and lies we tell ourselves become my reality again? Was I going to be that annoying blogger that is constantly up and down and never really getting anywhere? Or will I be that annoying blogger that never has a bad day and is forever on-point with her health? I don’t mind the ups and downs - but I want progress too. And in the past few months I've been losing the same 5-7 pounds over and over again. 

So what the hell is my problem? 

I’d like to wrap this all up very neatly and say that my problem is me. I am in control of my progress, my happiness, my ambition. This is all very true. But its not fair to put all of the blame on myself. Because when I look back at the last two years, 2012 especially, I've done a lot of stuff! I've done more in the past year than I've done at any other point in my life. No wonder I was burned out. I can’t shoulder the entire blame for where I am now. I was EXHAUSTED! 

Credit: karenika.com

This year I worked hard at weight loss, my personal life, my professional life, being a mom, being an artist, counseling and mentoring others while simultaneously figuring out my own shit. I've been more present in life than I've ever been before. My body was/is in the best health it has ever been but my mind and my emotional state was exhausted. This seems to be a pattern in my life but in October, it had reached an all-time high.

For two years, my life has been like an open wound. And every time there was healing, recovery and progress, something would come along and lift the scab and the edges would come undone. I couldn't heal because the wounds were constantly being picked at. So I took a break. About three weeks ago, I decided that I was done until the new year. I was going to eat and drink whatever I wanted. I would exercise if I felt like it. My biggest chore would be converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. I was going to do something I had not truly done for the better part of two years: Relax.
I’ve been pushing so hard to make everything happen at once. And that’s no way to live.
Like I said above, timing is everything. Last night I went to bed dreading today. I’d been off-plan for so long, could I really get back on track? I was worried I’d feel that same pull of the exhaustion. Even as I walked into the kitchen to make my first Medifast meal of the day, my shoulders slumped in defeat. It wasn't until I took that first bite of brownie that it all came back to me. It felt right. This is the right time.

I ended 2012 at 153 pounds. I am starting 2013 at that weight and back on the 5&1 until I make it back to 140 and possibly 135. I had my time to relax but now I need structure again. Structure and awareness. I will listen when my inner dialogue screams from the background ‘Hey! You need a break!’ I’m also cutting way back on the wine and other spirits. Treating myself to a drink will be saved for special occasions like a date night. I will miss it. I like booze and I love my Moscato. A lot. I will be sad. ;) 


(Unless of course Barefoot or another fine Moscato
maker wants to sponsor a review and ad space.)

This year will be different. Because this year, I am no longer the person I was in 2012, 2011, or the 33 other years before today. I am made up of bits and pieces of years past and restructured into a whole new being. Old rules no longer apply - nor do past failures and shortcomings. I'm a different person. Someone who sets and meets goals. Someone who doesn't crack under the pressure and instead recognizes that they need a break and backs off. Someone that realizes that letting go a little bit isn't an acceptance of failure but rather an acceptance of self.

I am successful. I am strong. I am adaptive. I am resilient. I am dedicated. I am more than I ever thought possible. It’s 2013 and I’ve finally become myself.

Who will you become in 2013?




• • •
Total Loss on Medifast: 100 pounds
Current weight: 153 pounds
• • •
Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.

For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.

*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)

Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Take it off | Talking Turkey

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This was me at Thanksgiving in 2010.

I know how to bring the love to the holidays.

This is me now...well, the most recent full body photo I could find.
Is my kid a little lady or what? Geez.

Anyway, as you can see it's quite a difference. Thanks to Medifast, I am going into this holiday season nearly 100 pounds lighter and in control of my health.

The holidays are usually a huge source of food anxiety for me. With my recent mini-meltdown over all-things-ever-thought-of-to-get-worked-up-about-for-no-good-reason, I thought for sure this Thanksgiving would be a source of much strife as well. But...it isn't. Would you believe me if I told you that I'm not worried about Thanksgiving at all?

It's fine if you don't believe me. I hardly believe it myself. 

You might be thinking 'Of course its no big deal. You met your goal and even though you've had a little gain, you've maintained pretty well.'

Have you been paying attention AT ALL? Dude. I'm a freaking mess, like, all the time. If I'm not thinking about what I'm eating, or what I'm going to be eating, I'm thinking about what you are eating and if I can have some of it. 

Okay, maybe its not that bad anymore. But if you aren't going to finish that, I am kinda hungry.

For real though, I still get all worked up about food, regaining the weight, getting back to my original goal, blah, blah, blah. You know, all the same tired shit I've been whining about for nearly two years. But this holiday, Thanksgiving, I'm not freaking out. Not even in secret. I just don't care. 

Here is why: I've been back on the 4&2 plan for almost two weeks. I'm down 3 pounds (current weight: 148). And it hasn't been 100%. Did you hear that Hostess went out of business?
This girl totally went on the hunt for any remaining Hostess products she could find. No Twinkies to be found but I have a nice stash of those chocolate cupcakes with the swirlies in my freezer. Izzy and I shared a package of those tiny donuts and we are still on the hunt for at least one package of regular Twinkies.

So I haven't been 100%. And more holiday stuff is fast approaching and there will be pecan pie. Lots and lots of pecan pie. Pecan pie that I will eat AND enjoy. Without guilt. And maybe with a little Cool Whip. 

And even though these dalliances with off-plan foods are not helpful to my goal of regaining my 100 pound loss, they are a part of life. Food is not just fuel for the body but part of enjoying life. Just like holidays are not meant for every day, neither are the treats that accompany them. That's why I go into holidays with a plan and a back-up plan!

My plan for maintaining (and hopefully even losing!) weight during the holidays
(and yes, I do realize this post would have been WAY more helpful if I had posted
it a few days ago. But hey! I'm early for Christmas and New Years!)
  • Stay on plan as close to 100% as possible in the weeks leading up to the holidays.
    Don't 'bank' calories by skipping meals. This includes the day of a big holiday meal or party. Starvation never works as a means for weight loss or maintaining and the holidays are no exception. Besides, aren't the holidays stressful enough without turning yourself into a cranky bitch due to low blood sugar?
    Today as of this posting, on Thanksgiving day, I've had two Medifast meals and for lunch I'm having some egg whites. I'm keeping it low-carb but still consuming the same amount of calories that I normally do by this time of the day.
  • Continue to set goals
    Keep it realistic but give yourself something to work toward during the holidays. Perhaps you want to log a certain number of hours at the gym by December 31st, or a certain number of miles. Maybe you can set a reasonable goal of 4-5 pounds lost by the new year. It could even be as simple as drinking more water than usual. And don't forget to reward yourself for meeting those goals (but not with food!).
  • Modify recipes so they are calorie-friendly or use alternative foods
    Mix in lower-carb almond flour with regular flour for baking, oils and butter in baking for applesauce, replace milk and sour cream with Greek yogurt, use half the amount of chocolate chips a recipe calls for. Indulgence is fun - but it stops being fun when it hurts your long-term goals.
    I'm taking Cheesy Baked Cauliflower to Thanksgiving to eat instead of mashed potatoes. I just saved my carbs for pecan pie. ;) 
 Cheesy Baked Cauliflower
  • 1/2 cup of low-fat shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1/2 cup Greek yogurt
  • 1/3 cup low-sodium chicken broth (optional and I usually skip this)
  • 1/2 an onion, sauteed (optional, tastes great but cooked onion will up the carbs)
  • 1 large cauliflower head, cut into florets (I like to pre-steam for faster cooking) 
  • Bake at 450 degrees for 30 minutes. 
  • Get moving lazy bones!
    Blargh. So full. So lazy. Oh look! Leftover pie!
    Get your ass out of the kitchen! The surest way to avoid picking at leftovers is to get out of the house. Even if you don't feel like hitting the gym or running, get out for a short walk or hit the mall and do some window shopping. I don't have any facts to back this up but I'm pretty sure running with the herds at a Black Friday sale burns like, 800 calories in 30 minutes. Between the aggravation and fighting for your life, it must burn close to that.
  • Moderation!
    Take small 2-3 bite portions of each dish. You can always go back for seconds. But if your family is anything like mine, there are tons of side dishes. By the time I get through my 2-3 bite portions of each food, I'm pretty full and don't really want another helping. 

If all else fails, get right back on the horse the next day. Not two days from the holiday or wait until the holidays are over.

So how did my Thanksgiving go? I did all of the above and thoroughly enjoyed my pecan pie. :) Tomorrow,  I'm looking forward to being back on track; beginning with a brisk walk in the park with Izzy and maybe even some Black Friday combat. 
• • •
First year: 77lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST! (140 pounds)
Current weight: 148 (-3lbs)

Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.

For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.

*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)

Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Take it Off | Maintenance: Hot Mess Stew

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I've tried many times in the past month to write this post. Please bear with me, because parts of it will probably go unexplained until I can further expand on them in another post. I don't want to dump it all in one post. That's just a recipe for Hot Mess Stew. I guess I will give you a synopsis and explain it all bit by bit over the next few days. I really just wanted to tell you guys 'I haz a sad' and move forward from there. I'm generally not down with being so TMI in this space that it will make someone else uncomfortable. (Isn't that what my Facebook is for?). But I don't feel like I'm being honest with you or  myself by white-washing the challenges I've faced.

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this. So I guess I will go back to my half marathon in September. Because I think that is when things really began to fall apart. This probably will not be well constructed...you know, word vomit.

September, October, and a smidge of November
The Philly Rock n' Roll Half Marathon
I was and still am very unhappy with the way this race turned out for me. I am terribly disappointed and angry with my finish time. I can't seem to get over it. But what was even more disappointing was my family's reaction to my doing this race. They were very aware that I was doing this run. Maybe they thought it wasn't such a big deal because I had been running so often. But you know what? It was a big fucking deal. And when I spoke to my parents the days leading up to it, never once was there a 'good luck' or a sentiment of support. As I always do, I let it go. We all had a lot on our plate with preparing for my Aunt's 80th birthday party. But when I saw my family just a couple of hours of completing my first half marathon, my largest athletic feat to date, there was not a single congratulatory word to be had. I didn't do this for them. Still though, I feel like a damn fool for having any expectations that they would be proud or impressed with what I had done or otherwise celebrate my achievement.

Babies
You know... I don't even really know how much I want to talk about this right now. I can barely think about it without getting upset. Long story short: The plan all along has been to have another baby once I hit goal. Well, that's not happening and I'm angry and sad about it. I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at anyone that has what I want. (Yes, I do realize how irrational that is and I try very hard to not demonstrate this anger.) 
It all comes down to money and by the time we work out the money, I am worried that we wont have the ability. This realization quite literally broke my heart. I swear to god I heard something inside of me rip. I don't think my husband even knows how much...but I guess he will now. I cry in the car after I drop Izzy at school. I cry in the bathroom at work when I wonder what the hell I'm doing here. I bite my cheeks to the point of injury in the presence of pregnant women to keep myself from imposing my melodrama on them. I also feel like a complete asshole for being upset about this when I am physically capable of having a child when so many women are not. But you know...it blows. No matter what your situation is regarding children, if you want them and you can't have them, it just blows.
I just can't write about this right now. But I'm just telling you about it to clue you in on where I am at. 

My job
I hate my job. There, I said it. I hate my job. I sit here every day and I am angry about my future. I'm far too talented for this job and I feel undervalued. And I'm not talking about money. I won't discuss what I make but I will give credit where it's due; I am very well paid. I know that if I did the same job anywhere else, I would make a third of what I make here. I am grateful for that and the other benefits that this job provides. I am grateful to have a good job when so many skilled professionals still struggle to find work in their fields at a fair wage. By all rights, this a 'good' job and a company with a lot of potential. I think I'm a good fit here if the job evolved into something else. However, generally speaking, not only have I outgrown this position (and there is nowhere to go), my entire employment here has been heavily pocked with negative issues. I feel trapped. I want to be here but I am not fulfilled. I'm struggling to say what I want. I don't want to be 'that person' that blogs about their job and catches a raft of crap for it. Because really the problem lies with me and my inability to find fulfillment in my situation. 

My family
I won't sugarcoat this, my brother is a very severe and high functioning alcoholic. I'm not going to pretend this is a big secret or that it should be all hush-hush. I have a lot of issues and resentments when it comes to my brother and the way in which my parents deal with him. While my brother and I don't talk about this and we are very friendly with each other, I'm sure he is very aware of how I feel. That being said, I love my brother and I want to support him in making positive changes. With that in mind, I won't discuss his private issues as to how much he drinks, how it effects his family or the poor choices he has made because of his drinking. However, I can no longer pretend that his actions and my parent's reactions do not affect me. Apparently though, they are not of the same mindset. So much so that when my brother decided to detox on his own, got very ill and then finally sought out professional treatment, no one bothered to let me know. This was incredibly hurtful to me.
More often than not, I feel as though I am an extended member of the family rather than the daughter and the sibling. I get it. I'm the one that is thriving, I can take care of myself. But time and again, I am left out of the loop. I'm so glad he sought out treatment, that is what is important here. He is attending meetings and has been sober for a few weeks now. I'm proud of him. I know this situation is incredibly hard on my parents and I hope this time it sticks for him so that they can get a break. I know I am a grown woman with a family of my own but I still can't help but feel lost and forgotten. While they are busy saving him from drowning, I am getting washed away.

People that don't know how to leave well enough alone
About a month ago, I got a message on Facebook from a high school classmate. I still have not read the note. I skimmed the first few lines and decided I didn't want to read it. Right now, I just don't want to. Despite the fact that I didn't read the note, this did not stop it from consuming my thoughts. I'm angry about that. I'm angry that yet again, this person has invaded my space. That she tries to insert herself into my life knowing full well that I do not want her there. I'm angry that this is sucking up my time and my thoughts. I'm angry that I am letting it.
It's a very long story and one I don't think that I can fairly tell until I read her note. She tried to contact me back when MySpace was popular - it didn't go well. Even though its been about six years since then, and even more since I last saw her in person, the memories are as vivid as if they happened a week ago. I told my best friend about the note, someone that was witness to a lot of the mistreatment that was heaped on me. She said she isn't worth my time. Right now, I agree with her. I will read the note when I am ready...and maybe I never will. Maybe she will try again on the next big social media platform in another 6 years. Maybe I will read the note later this week and I will find forgiveness for her. Or maybe it will sit unread until the password to that account is long forgotten. Who knows.

• • •
So this is the bulk of the stuff that has been consuming my life in the past couple of months. Throw in some money issues, let is simmer, and serve the Hot Mess Stew over a heaping pile of Woe-is-Me. I spent a lot of this time doing nothing that would end in good results. There was a lot of not eating properly, drinking too much wine, and I certainly wasn't exercising the way I should have been. 

All was not lost though. I ran several races with some first timers. That really made me feel good that I continue to pay it forward with the running. I love seeing the sense of accomplishment in my friend's faces when they realize they have conquered something that a few months ago they thought was impossible. And that's kind of where I am right now. I'm looking at these photos and knowing what I've accomplished and feeling good about it.


Here's the really hard part: Confessing that I'm up about 10.5 pounds. I am not happy about it. But I'm trying to let go of the disappointments of the last few months and move forward. Rather than dwell on the weight I've gained, I'm going to refocus on getting it off again. Today I am back on the 4&2 plan. I will stay on the 4&2 plan until I get back to 140 pounds. 

I also have some good things on the horizon that may fix some of the stuff I am down about too. Yay! More on that later. And probably more on the other crap above. But especially more on this.

I've had my fill of Hot Mess Stew. There will be good days and bad, no doubt. Honestly, today isn't that great. But it will be the last day for a long while that I let myself be dragged down by emotional eating and laziness. After all, I have to pace myself for the holiday blahs. Those are gonna be AWESOME. (Sarcasm is calorie-free, FYI.)

(Also, I will be making a post about candy later today. Don't get confused. I'm not eating candy today. ;) )

• • •
First year: 77lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST! (140 pounds)
Current weight: 150.5

Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.

For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.



*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Take it Off | Maintenance: When Will My Life Begin?

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When I was obese, daydreamed about being thin. I thought about all the ways my life would change. 
  • I'd wear stylish clothes
  • I'd never gain the weight back
  • I'd rub it in the face of everyone that ever doubted me or treated my badly
  • I'd never obsess over food ever again
  • I'd be fighting off boys left and right
  • I won't be consumed with a number. 
  • I'd be (even more) daring

Everything would be right and perfect in my world. When I lost all the weight, that is when my life would truly begin. 

I waited 35 years for my life to begin. I turned 35 two days after meeting my goal weight and, if I go by this list, I'm still waiting. Waiting for all of those things on an arbitrary list to manifest themselves. Because the truth is that for all the things in my life that have changed, nary an item has been checked off of that list.
  • I'd wear stylish clothes
    • I don't wear stylish clothes. I wear T-shirts, headbands and ponytails, yoga pants and sneakers most of the time.
  • I'd never gain the weight back
    • The truth is, I've gained some weight back. In fact, I did it almost immediately after hitting my goal. It's not much. I hover between 144-148 these days. I had nearly back to back vacations and some heavy stuff happening in my life. I wasn't comfortable with getting up to 148 but I'm not terribly torn up about it either. [I'm currently at 146] This is all part of the learning process. It didn't end when I crossed into maintenance.
  • I'd rub it in the face of everyone that ever doubted me or treated my badly
    • I don't rub my successes in the face of everyone that did me wrong. Who wants to hang out with that asshole? Retribution is a nice fantasy - but grace and mercy should take precedence. Instead of revenge, I reflect on my struggle and know that they were just as flawed as me and have problems of their own. And they are probably still an asshole anyway. So it wouldn't make a difference. ;) (Still working on that grace and mercy stuff.)
  • I'd never obsess over food ever again
    • Totally still obsess over food. Sometimes its the excitement of earning an indulgence. More often than I'd like, its still the same old demons. Hoping to never again obsess over food was naive. If it were that easy to turn off, I never would have gotten to where I did. 
  • I'd be fighting off boys left and right
    • I only fight one boy off these days and I am quite okay with that...and I don't fight very hard either. ;)
  • I won't be consumed with a number. 
    • I'm still consumed with numbers. Mileage, speed, average pace, the cost of new gear and the days left until the next race.
  • I'd be (even more) daring
    • I've had trouble defining what daring is to me. Things I held myself back from in the past are simply normal now. It's not daring to speak up for yourself, take care of yourself, or put yourself out into the world and seek joy. It isn't courageous or brave or lionhearted or bold. It's just what life should have always been. And it should be that way for everyone. 
There was a time I thought I was missing out on life because I was 'fat'. I had so many reasons to not do things. The truth is that life presents itself when you are actually living. My obesity didn't cripple me, I did that. I spent more time daydreaming than doing. 

And maybe that's the lesson I'm really learning from this journey: Stop imagining the future and start creating it.
photo credit: Stephanie Glover
• • •
Maintenance is hard. It's harder than the losing. I struggle because I worry a lot. I'm no longer obese and instead of freeing myself from the dregs of worrying, instead being more 'daring', I now worry about becoming obese again in spite of my continued efforts.
In addition to the new worries, there is a loneliness in meeting your goal. The road behind me is littered with those that think I don't need them, the ones that lost their way and gave up. Up ahead of me, way in the distance, are the ones that met their goals and are off living life...and I can't quite seem to catch up.
There are no more milestones. No more surprises on the scale. And the 'attagirls' fade into the distance as people perceive that final milestone as the end. It's like the end of a party. There's so much anticipation leading up to the event, the big day happens and there's confetti and balloons, and then everyone leaves. And all I'm left with is confetti ground into my carpet and wondering how taco dip got in the cat's ear. 

It was fun and exciting - but what now?

Now, is when my life begins. Now is when I make a new list and actually cross things off. Now is when I start creating the future.



• • •
First year: 77lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST! (140 pounds)
Current weight: 146

Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.

For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.


*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

How NOT to train for a half-marathon

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Today is my 'runniversary'! 

One year ago today, I decided to take this running stuff seriously and I started the nine-week program, Couch to 5k. Seven weeks later, I would run my first 5k with my friends Amanda and Jen (thank you, ladies!). Since then, I've run several timed 5k's, a 10-miler, an obstacle course, and just two weeks ago, a half marathon. 
I have to confess, I did not properly train for the half marathon (which I will recap in another post). I probably did more wrong than I did correctly. So today I am going to share with you...
 

In other words: Do everything the exact opposite of the way I did it. Except for the ice cream. If you are going to run a half-marathon, you deserve a turtle sundae now and then.

Take it off | Week 77: Invisibility Shield, Activated!

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I grew up in a pretty small town - of course, what town in Delaware isn't small? Everyone knew everyone. You could barely step out of your front door without running into someone you knew. For some, this is idyllic and nothing short of part of the American dream. For me, it was torture. As a kid and young adult I generally did not like running into people, having to drum up conversation, or pretending to care about their extended family. Yeah, I was an introverted jerk. 

This town has since grown and the residents seem to have tripled and quadrupled in the almost 20 years since I graduated from high school and moved away.  However, my parents still live there as do many of the people I grew up with. Thankfully, time, maturity and an appreciation for the fact that life changes people has relieved me of my introverted jerkiness. But that doesn't change the fact that there are just some people in life that, when face-to-face with them, I'd rather throw myself into a pit of glass shards then show them any civility.  This is the danger of visiting my home town. Facing the choice between gritting my teeth and cranking out a smile, or pointy, stabby, slow, and painful death.

Decisions, decisions.

This weekend I returned to my hometown for their annual Peach Festival. I was excited to show Christian and Izzy my little town (and if you've ever seen Dead Poet's Society, you've seen a lot of it too!). Even though the edges of town are seemingly barricaded with an army of 'Big Box' stores and every fast food mecca that you can think of, the heart of the town is virtually unchanged. Victorian-era homes line the streets and quaint storefronts are adorned with flags proclaiming they are open for business, selling everything from coffee to antiques. There is even a small hardware store that has survived in the shadow of the Lowe's that is mere footsteps from its door.

Yes, my hometown is quite the slice of Americana. Everything is changing while simultaneously staying exactly the way it was 20 years ago - which brings us back to the people. I've reconnected with a lot of my classmates through Facebook and have a renewed appreciation for most of them. But there are several that I'd rather not talk to and it seems like every time I visit my hometown, these people are thrown into my path as if we were magnetically drawn to one another through some cosmic joke. 

I saw Dreaded Person #1 in the crowd. She was stealthily walking toward me with a glean of recognition in her eye. Panicking, I began to formulate an escape plan in my head. I surveyed the area...Port o' Potties...yes! I would claim tainted peach pie and run for the crapper. To my surprise, my worry went to waste as her look of recognition turned to one of confusion and she sailed right past me with out even so much as a nod of the head or a knowing smile.

It was in that moment that this small town girl knew she had finally realized her destiny with greatness. I had developed SUPER POWERS.

As all three of the people on my 'avoid at all costs' list walked past me with no signs of recognition or awkward avoidance on their part, it dawned on me that losing weight had given me the power of being a Master of Disguise. I commented to my mother how great it was to avoid people thanks to the fact that I look next to nothing like my former self. She laughed and agreed that even she barely recognizes me. I came to realize that in the past year and a half I have gained numerous super powers.
  • Matter Ingestion: Ability to consume any sort of matter without any ill effects on the user.
    I can eat almost anything without getting a stomach ache or #2 issues.
  • Superhuman Longevity: Ability to live longer than a normal human. Okay, this one remains to be seen. But realistically, I stand the chance of outliving quite a few people if I keep up a healthy regimen. 
  • Mind control: The ability to alter perceptions, and general ability to control the actions with the mind. I alter my thinking on a daily basis to identify and resolves issues that are not conducive to weight loss and maintenance.
  • Animation: Ability to bring inanimate objects to life or to free an individual from petrification.
    Otherwise read as: I get my ass up off the couch - even when I don't feel like it.
  • Shape Shifting: Ability to increase or decrease one's size.
    I can squeeze into some pretty tight spaces these days and still have room to spare.
  • Density control: Ability to increase or decrease the natural density of an one's self.
    Gain a little? No problem, I get back on track and it will come right back off!
  • Psychic powers/ESP: Ability to project one's consciousness/psyche/emotions into the astral plane, into another, or to make them real.
    I can identify possible triggers and stamp them out before they even become an issue.
  • Substance mimicry: Ability to transform any substance.
    I've gotten really good at turning high-calorie foods into low-calorie foods. All it takes is swapping out and ingredient here and there.
  • Magnetism manipulation:  Ability to control and/or generate magnetic fields.
    Layman's Terms: the dudes love me. Some of the ladies too.
  • Animal Mimicry: Ability to take on the characteristics of certain animals.
    I'm like a cheetah when I put my sneakers on! Okay...maybe its a very old cheetah that is possibly missing two of it's four limbs and has arthritis in the remaining two. But that's still a pretty fast cheetah!
Not a super power: Elasticity. 
I'm like a spent Stretch Armstrong with all of my floppy skin.


...and now in slo-mo:


Clearly, I am no superhero. My Achilles Heels range from stress, to cupcakes, to wine. But if you've ever watched any superhero movies, more often than not their triumph lies in their drive to succeed, the want to conquer the things that seem so much bigger than even they can handle with their superhuman strength. What matters most is their will to overcome any obstacle in their path - especially their own weakness. 

You don't need super powers to be successful at weight loss - you just have to want it bad enough. You have to have the courage to overcome even the most seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Harness your hidden super powers and meet your destiny.

(And if you think you still need a superhero cape to harness your powers - go visit my friend Sherry. She'll make you one.)

First year: 77lbs
Month Thirteen: -6.5 lbs
Month Fourteen: -3.5 lbs
Month Fifteen: -1 lbs
Month Sixteen: -5 lbs
Month Seventeen: -2 lbs
Month Eighteen: -2.5 lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST!
Week seventy five: ? (on vacation, no weigh in. Lots of bad food)
Week seventy six: +4.5 oops.
Week seventy seven: -2.5.
Total: 97.5 lbs gone forever! Current weight: 142.5 lbs Distance from attaining the goal again: 2 lbs

Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.
For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.

*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

Dogeared Jewelry is not sponsoring this giveaway and in no way endorses this site, this giveaway or the opinions in this post. The Turnip Farmer is solely responsible for this giveaway.

Take it off | Week 74 - 76: GOOOAAAA---- aw, dang it.

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So...I did this:
Fun fact: Before I edited this photo, you could totally see
the reflection of my boob in the glass scale.
Nip and all.
You are welcome for that imagery. 

Then I went on vacation for 12 days. And well, I sorta blew it. I went to BlogHer12, sheepishly telling people about meeting my goal. I wasn't as excited as I should have been. I didn't feel like I deserved the accolades that people tried to heap upon me. And even though I was so excited to have met my goal in time for the conference I knew that meeting my goal would be short-lived. 

I've been struggling to write about this because my original thought was that I had just decided 'Hey! I'm on vacation! I met my goal! I'm gonna let loose and let the chips fall where they may....right in my mouth!'. I was going to tell you how I just decided that I had earned and deserved a break.

What a load of crap.

Every time I started to type it out, it just did not ring true with me. Sure it was partly true. I was ready to just enjoy myself. I was tired of tracking food. Tired of watching others enjoy all the goodies that, for the most part, I had denied myself in the past year. I wanted to be lazy and break free and just turn off the part of my brain that works so hard at keeping myself on track. However, a break for me isn't the same as it is for others. Lack of structure and accountability are a wild, slippery slope for me.

The first leg of vacation I headed up to NYC for Blogher12. I did really well. For starters I was there representing Medifast. So how would it look if you found me in the lobby of the Hilton covered in buttercream icing? (Magnolia Bakery was just around the corner, by the way.) Through the conference and for the first 8 days or so of vacation, I minded my portions, I limited my drinking, and with the exception of my birthday dinner (Mexican and margaritas!), I let myself relax. I ate what I wanted without going too crazy. That was the first eight days. 

Then on day nine, the plague I had been fighting - the Great Black Death of BlogHer12 finally hit me with all of it's might.

And I don't know which one of you chicks gave it to me. But I am saving a portion of it in a petri dish. All I'm saying is you bitches better take your AirBorne before leaving for Chicago next year. 

Yes, I was ready for a break. But the real truth is that realizing my goal scared the crap out of me and it always has. And I kinda freaked out a little. I had a terrible cold over vacation so I was kicking the dirt and having a pity party for myself. I took that 'I deserve a break' mentality at every opportunity. I even remember saying a few times that my stomach was 'tired'. I was cramming so much into that it felt stretched to its limit; as if it had been doing strenuous exercise. And I couldn't stop! The last few days of vacation were a ridiculous free-for-all. I couldn't even tell you everything I ate.

By late Saturday I was disgusted and ready to get back on plan. I was back in that place of obsessing over what I ate, when I'd eat again, and how I'd feel after I ate it. I was cranky, sick with my cold and sick over how I'd let myself unravel, and I was tired of being worried about what the scale would read come Monday.

On Monday I was up 4.5 pounds. Everyone keeps telling me 'that's not that bad'. But the thing people are failing to see is my perspective. I fought so hard to get that one hundred pounds. It took FOREVER to get there. And I couldn't even hold onto it for a week. I wasn't worried about getting the weight back off. I was just disappointed that something I wanted so badly was given up so easily. Just like I didn't care for the one precious body I had by making it sick with obesity, I didn't care enough about this goal to keep it. I felt like I let myself down.

I've always said that I just wanted to hit the one hundred mark but didn't expect to stay there. I just didn't think I'd let it go so quickly. It makes me worry for my long term success. I don't know...maybe that's not a realistic way to think?

Every day will get easier but the finality of being in maintenance - even though I had given it much thought in the past few months and believed I was prepared - the act of being done with the regimen that has been my life for the past eighteen months was depressing and scary.

What Now?

Now, I try again.

Because you know what's especially pathetic about all of my whining? If you sat across from me and told me this story, I'd say 'WHO CARES!'

Who cares that you gained some weight on vacation. Who cares if you ate nothing but raw sugar dipped in honey and slathered in Ranch dressing? (for the record, that didn't actually happen.) Weight can be lost again and again. Did you enjoy it? (mostly) Then what's the problem? As long as you got up this morning and decided to try again, everything that happened last week doesn't matter. Because every day that you decide to try, you are that much closer to where you'd rather be. As long as you are trying, you aren't failing.

So today I try.

I've been dusting myself off all week long. I'm repeating the last week of transition (1,100-1,550 calories). I'm getting back into running after taking much too long of a break because of (heat and laziness). As of today, Thursday, I'm back down to 142 (2.5lbs gone). 


 • • •

A few weeks ago I went to see one of my favorite musicians, Kate Miller Heidke, at World Cafe Live in Philly. One of the things I love about her is that she does a lot of small, intimate shows. About two years I had the chance to meet her after a show at Arden Gild Hall in Delaware and was so excited that I had an opportunity to have a new photo take with her this year.

Kate is really tiny. So when I met her in 2010, I felt gigantic next to her. *ahem* And even though I'm a good 4-5 inches taller than her (I'm squatting down in both photos), I felt like a normal person next to her this time around!

• • •

Well, it has taken me all week to write this post. I have much more to share with you about BlogHer and all of the wonderful bloggers I met that want to take charge of their health. So I will get to work on that post next! (and hopefully it won't be another 3 weeks before I get that up!)

But for now, I am off to have my weekly chat with my Medifast dietitian and then get my butt out there and log some miles!

First year: 77lbs
Month Thirteen: -6.5 lbs
Month Fourteen: -3.5 lbs
Month Fifteen: -1 lbs
Month Sixteen: -5 lbs
Month Seventeen: -2 lbs
Month Eighteen: -2.5 lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST!
Week seventy five: ? (on vacation, no weigh in. Lots of bad food)
Week seventy six: +4.5 oops.
Total: 95.5 lbs gone forever! Current weight: 142 lbs Distance from attaining the goal again: 4.5 lbs

 Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program. If you use my coupon code, TURNIP56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.
For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer. It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes. Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.

*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

 Dogeared Jewelry is not sponsoring this giveaway and in no way endorses this site, this giveaway or the opinions in this post. The Turnip Farmer is solely responsible for this giveaway.
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