Take it off | Week 77: Invisibility Shield, Activated!

I grew up in a pretty small town - of course, what town in Delaware isn't small? Everyone knew everyone. You could barely step out of your front door without running into someone you knew. For some, this is idyllic and nothing short of part of the American dream. For me, it was torture. As a kid and young adult I generally did not like running into people, having to drum up conversation, or pretending to care about their extended family. Yeah, I was an introverted jerk. 

This town has since grown and the residents seem to have tripled and quadrupled in the almost 20 years since I graduated from high school and moved away.  However, my parents still live there as do many of the people I grew up with. Thankfully, time, maturity and an appreciation for the fact that life changes people has relieved me of my introverted jerkiness. But that doesn't change the fact that there are just some people in life that, when face-to-face with them, I'd rather throw myself into a pit of glass shards then show them any civility.  This is the danger of visiting my home town. Facing the choice between gritting my teeth and cranking out a smile, or pointy, stabby, slow, and painful death.

Decisions, decisions.

This weekend I returned to my hometown for their annual Peach Festival. I was excited to show Christian and Izzy my little town (and if you've ever seen Dead Poet's Society, you've seen a lot of it too!). Even though the edges of town are seemingly barricaded with an army of 'Big Box' stores and every fast food mecca that you can think of, the heart of the town is virtually unchanged. Victorian-era homes line the streets and quaint storefronts are adorned with flags proclaiming they are open for business, selling everything from coffee to antiques. There is even a small hardware store that has survived in the shadow of the Lowe's that is mere footsteps from its door.

Yes, my hometown is quite the slice of Americana. Everything is changing while simultaneously staying exactly the way it was 20 years ago - which brings us back to the people. I've reconnected with a lot of my classmates through Facebook and have a renewed appreciation for most of them. But there are several that I'd rather not talk to and it seems like every time I visit my hometown, these people are thrown into my path as if we were magnetically drawn to one another through some cosmic joke. 

I saw Dreaded Person #1 in the crowd. She was stealthily walking toward me with a glean of recognition in her eye. Panicking, I began to formulate an escape plan in my head. I surveyed the area...Port o' Potties...yes! I would claim tainted peach pie and run for the crapper. To my surprise, my worry went to waste as her look of recognition turned to one of confusion and she sailed right past me with out even so much as a nod of the head or a knowing smile.

It was in that moment that this small town girl knew she had finally realized her destiny with greatness. I had developed SUPER POWERS.

As all three of the people on my 'avoid at all costs' list walked past me with no signs of recognition or awkward avoidance on their part, it dawned on me that losing weight had given me the power of being a Master of Disguise. I commented to my mother how great it was to avoid people thanks to the fact that I look next to nothing like my former self. She laughed and agreed that even she barely recognizes me. I came to realize that in the past year and a half I have gained numerous super powers.
  • Matter Ingestion: Ability to consume any sort of matter without any ill effects on the user.
    I can eat almost anything without getting a stomach ache or #2 issues.
  • Superhuman Longevity: Ability to live longer than a normal human. Okay, this one remains to be seen. But realistically, I stand the chance of outliving quite a few people if I keep up a healthy regimen. 
  • Mind control: The ability to alter perceptions, and general ability to control the actions with the mind. I alter my thinking on a daily basis to identify and resolves issues that are not conducive to weight loss and maintenance.
  • Animation: Ability to bring inanimate objects to life or to free an individual from petrification.
    Otherwise read as: I get my ass up off the couch - even when I don't feel like it.
  • Shape Shifting: Ability to increase or decrease one's size.
    I can squeeze into some pretty tight spaces these days and still have room to spare.
  • Density control: Ability to increase or decrease the natural density of an one's self.
    Gain a little? No problem, I get back on track and it will come right back off!
  • Psychic powers/ESP: Ability to project one's consciousness/psyche/emotions into the astral plane, into another, or to make them real.
    I can identify possible triggers and stamp them out before they even become an issue.
  • Substance mimicry: Ability to transform any substance.
    I've gotten really good at turning high-calorie foods into low-calorie foods. All it takes is swapping out and ingredient here and there.
  • Magnetism manipulation:  Ability to control and/or generate magnetic fields.
    Layman's Terms: the dudes love me. Some of the ladies too.
  • Animal Mimicry: Ability to take on the characteristics of certain animals.
    I'm like a cheetah when I put my sneakers on! Okay...maybe its a very old cheetah that is possibly missing two of it's four limbs and has arthritis in the remaining two. But that's still a pretty fast cheetah!
Not a super power: Elasticity. 
I'm like a spent Stretch Armstrong with all of my floppy skin.

...and now in slo-mo:

Clearly, I am no superhero. My Achilles Heels range from stress, to cupcakes, to wine. But if you've ever watched any superhero movies, more often than not their triumph lies in their drive to succeed, the want to conquer the things that seem so much bigger than even they can handle with their superhuman strength. What matters most is their will to overcome any obstacle in their path - especially their own weakness. 

You don't need super powers to be successful at weight loss - you just have to want it bad enough. You have to have the courage to overcome even the most seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Harness your hidden super powers and meet your destiny.

(And if you think you still need a superhero cape to harness your powers - go visit my friend Sherry. She'll make you one.)

First year: 77lbs
Month Thirteen: -6.5 lbs
Month Fourteen: -3.5 lbs
Month Fifteen: -1 lbs
Month Sixteen: -5 lbs
Month Seventeen: -2 lbs
Month Eighteen: -2.5 lbs
Week seventy four: -2 lbs GOAL!!!!!! 100 POUNDS LOST!
Week seventy five: ? (on vacation, no weigh in. Lots of bad food)
Week seventy six: +4.5 oops.
Week seventy seven: -2.5.
Total: 97.5 lbs gone forever! Current weight: 142.5 lbs Distance from attaining the goal again: 2 lbs

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*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)
Medifast products and the Medifast Program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.

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