Take it off! Week9: Kirstie, the wedding dresses, gravity and toothpaste

Lets start with an open letter to a celebrity. Or if you don't want to read about me bitching at Kirstie Alley scroll to the middle to skip to the regularly scheduled portion of my Take it Off post.

Dear Kirstie Alley,

Girlfriend, we all have eyes and we can see you. If you are a size 8, then I am a 00 and we all know that is not true. 

Now, Kirstie, I like you a lot. I think you are smart, witty, self depricating and you are truly a stunning woman. You are wickedly funny and your hair is nothing short of a gift from heaven above. Look Who's Talking will always be one of my favorite guilty pleasures. And the movie you did with the dude from Night Court, I like that one too.You've got a lot to be proud of.

But you, my friend, are no size 8. The fact that you claim you are makes me upset with you. I mean, you can admit that you were a raging coke-head back in your Cheer's days. (And I think we all know the dirty little things that raging coke-heads do when they are snorting their faces off.) But you can't admit that you wear clothing that scores in the double digits?
What really bothers me is that all the chunky girls that look at you and say 'See? Fat can be pretty too!' you basically told them they are disgusting. Because you aren't saying you are a size 12 when you *might* be a 16. You are saying 'I think people our size are so disgusting that I've deluded myself into believing that people will think I am really am a size 8 if I just say it and stick with the lie.' Now if I just cut all the tags out of my size 20's no one will ever be the wiser! *snipsnipsnip*

Unfortunately for you Kirstie, everyone that is watching Dancing with the Stars has EYES. It's ok that you don't like your size but don't insult our intelligence.  

In my mind you making a ludicrous statement like "I'm a size 8" puts you on the same level with fatty hater Maura Kelly. Remember her and how much we thought she sucked when she said fat people made her sick?

Kirstie, don't get me wrong. I get it. When you don't feel good about yourself, you tell yourself little lies to feel better. But you are doing yourself a disservice by trying to sell people this nonsense. You make yourself look the fool and you disappoint people like me that think you are actually embracing your body and your size and in turn embrace theirs. I mean it has to be true if you dare to go on national TV knowing that you will be the butt of fat jokes...but I guess not. I know you weren't comfortable when you did the Oprah/bikini stunt - but it was so bad ass that you did it anyway. DWTS and Oprah? Two checks in the bad-ass column.

So Kirstie, when you want to start being bad ass again, please come clean about your size. I want to love you, I really, really do. But let's get real. You've got nothing to be ashamed of - well, nothing except the blatant lies and assuming that everyone is stupid.

Love, Kelly
(who is a size 18 and 219ish lbs and will probably always wear double digits.) 

P.S. Maybe next time you should try Medifast instead of Jenny. :)

Now, on to me. I'll just put it right out there. I didn't lose a single pound this week. I didn't even get a .anything. I am exactly at the same weight I reported last week. This is the part where I kick myself for not breaking out the measuring tape every week. Because even though that scale hasn't budged all week, I can definitely feel that I've lost inches. I guess that is how is goes sometimes. I won't kid you, it's frustrating because I like to see that number move. But we'll have weeks like this and it's ok. Hopefully next week I will have a loss to report and I am going to start taking measurements.

I did up my exercise routine this past week. I'm now riding my bike at least three times a week. On that bike ride I am pulling a trailer and almost 40lbs of toddler behind me, uphill for at least 3 miles. My nutritionist said that could be the culprit and that I might see better results next week.

She also told me that I could blame gravity. 

So I will. Gravity and exercise are the cause of my lack of loss. There. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

On Saturday night I was a little bored. I was down in the basement collecting things for Good Will and came upon the trash bag that my wedding dress is in (yes, the trash bag). Just for funsies I decided to drag it upstairs and try it on. I knew it wouldn't fit but I thought it would be fun to start using it for before and after pics. Maybe I will try it on every ten pounds or so.

You wanna see?

That's no baby bump! (do you love the window graffiti?)
I think its fair to say that without scaffolding and clamps or breaking any ribs, I got it zipped up about halfway.
JC Penney pretty!

So there you have it folks. No loss this week and I still can't wear my wedding dress. But that toothpaste did help my pimples.

Week one: -7 lbs
Week two: -5 lbs
Week three: -1 lbs
Week four: -3 lbs
Week five: -0 lbs (maintain on vacation)
Week six: -2 lbs
Week seven: -1.6 lbs
Week eight: -1.5 lbs  
Week nine: -0 lbs  le sigh. damn gravity!
Total: 21.1 lbs gone forever!

If you’re interested in trying Medifast, I have a great deal for you!  Use the code TURNIP50 to get $50 off an order of $275. 

*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning   their products.  All thoughts  written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)

~*Stephanie aka Goober Monkey*~
~*Jenni aka Jenni From the Blog*~
~*Tiffany aka Mom-Nom*~
~*Brandi aka 5 Monkies*~
~*Censide aka Building Our Story*~