Kelly Brown Says: Take it off | Week 33: My new normal

Normal.

That's the word that kept creeping into my mind and popping up all over the place in my life last week.

It came up in a conversation on Facebook:

And then it came up on Twitter between two of my Medifast friends:

I've been examining what 'normal' is in terms of obesity and health. Obviously a largely relative term that holds any number of definitions depending on the person and circumstances. Normal changes, it can be refined, it adapts, it evolves. Normal, in my opinion, is only limited by the individual.

A year ago it was not normal for me to not fit in theater seats, to have people look at me with something other than the "I'm glad I'm not that fat" face. Nor was it normal for me hold myself accountable in any fashion let alone by telling the public at large what I've eaten, how I've exercised, what size clothing I was wearing or what my state of mind was regarding all of these topics. It was not normal for people to tell me they were proud of me or that I was an inspiration or thank me for motivating them.

It was my normal to eat with great abandon and slowly kill myself with no regard to who was being affected.

My 'normal' was killing me. My 'normal' was painful to be and painful for those around me to watch. When I finally decided that this normal no longer suited me, day by day I began building a new one.

Now my new normal is taking up less space but living a larger than ever life. Creating a level of accountability that is manageable but non-threatening to my level of comfort, yet challenges me to push harder every day. I eat thoughtfully and with purpose, I run and when I don't run I find another way to move. I strive to inspire others to change and challenge their normal through my example. It is accepting that I must eat differently than what I perceive others are 'allowed' to eat. My new normal is a place of challenging, caring for and forgiving myself.

Its not easy, many days are a struggle. I get tired, I get disappointed, I crave and sometimes I cry. Every so often I long to be a different normal - because my former normal is nothing to long for. But if normal is something to be enjoyed, then I will enjoy this new one for all it's worth. And believe me, its worth everything to me. I love my normal. How do you feel about yours?

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The skinny: Well I lost nothing this week. Zip, zilch, goose egg. But I'm okay with it (sort of). I know I did all the right things this week so I am happy to maintain and have no loss vs. doing all the wrong things and gaining. I'm keeping up with the C25k program and just committed to my first 5k on Nov. 20th. Eep! Aside from being ridiculously tired all the time (I'm not sure why), I actually feel great physically. I just keep pushing through but try not to over exert myself. I tracked my food every day and drank a ton of water. We ate out a lot late in the week and I planned what I could and made some good choices. All in all, it was a successful week. But I would very much appreciate it if my body would show me some payoff to all this running on the scale!

Month One: -16 lbs

Month Two: -5 lbs

Month Three: -6 lbs

Month Four: -6 lbs

Month Five: -6 lbs

Month Six: -8.5 lbs
Month Seven: -7.5 lbs

Week twenty nine: -1 lbs

Week thirty: -2 lbs
Week thirty one: -0.5 lbs
Week thirty two: -1.5 lbs
Week thirty three: -0 lbs

Total: 60 lbs gone forever!
Current weight: 180 lbs
Distance from goal: 40 lbs!!

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*FTC Disclosure: Medifast provides their products for my personal use for free. I am not paid or compensated in any other way for mentioning their products. All thoughts written here are mine. I love complaining so I would tell you if I didn't like something in the program. :)